Its not you

I am engulfed by the thought of you let it be known that at the time you were what I craved yet as the hours have passed you have become my dread not in the light of who you are but just the emptiness of who I am I just can’t bring myself to be anymore in partnership with you I can’t even look at you without a negative feeling. Its not that you never served a purpose you did yet it really was for my gratification than it was for our meeting a much needed time in secret randevous. I don’t feel for you what you have come to develop for me its just not happening for me I need higher ecstacies and a broader toucher innocent meeting and well groomed time partners I need more than what any human can give and I will never find it in you… in me is a whole a vacant that needs to be filled and no human can fill it no touch can preserve it no experience no matter how high can tame it I need mo so much more I need to go out of this life these humans this sphere this world and be made climaxed and brought to oblivion by something greater Joyce Meyer calls it God, Billy Graham says its Jesus and my Pastor says its Holy Spirit and tell you the truth I once asked a favorite teacher of mine if she had ever had to let go of love and she gave me the most strangest answer she said to me well “there is healthy love and unhealthy love” and for me you are the latter I love you yet I can never be in love with you. Its not you it’s me.

So God of Joyce,Billy and Charles I give my life to You and forsake all else.