What have i done

The empty spaces within me
The vacant holes that reside in the community within me
The spaces that are present in the zone of my being
You fill them all with your living water
You make me dance on air
You make me breathe breath that goes from here to eternity
You are the reason and the cause for my existence
You are within me, you are in me and i am in you
It's you who makes it worthwhile to wake up in the morning

I am crying, my inner most part is crippled
A virus has taken hold of me and only you have the cure
I am being crippled in my effort to walk with you
I am lacking air yet i have all the essentials to breathe it in
I am so attacked by an enemy i have no ability in my ability to stop
I am weeping lamenting trying to find a good reason that will make you ignore the stain
I am taken by the settings of my weaknessess, they know when to strick while the iron is hot
I feel so weak so defeated so out of touch so immobile so in debt so out of character

God, i have sinned and i have done what is wrong before you
I have the done the thing you despise
I have perfomed an act you can't stand
I have made an 'What have i done.' mistake
I have made that which is opposite to you come before your face

God in Jesus you said we are forgiven so i come and ask for your forgiveness
O God please help me, I...I...I...
Father I...I...I...
I need your Hand on my life.

Breathe, Take in, Embrace, Let Him in, Go steady, let...let...let Him in
Mortal, human, life filled, created and flawed
He. Immortal Perfect Loving Merciful Gracious Faithful Inviting and Jesus Gave

Yet you hate the sin me the sinner you love so i come to you cry my eyes out and then trust that what Jesus did was sufficient for my sin and the sins of the world.

I am sorry God.

i have known the luxury of having to know that there will be food on the table when i get home there is nothing like a good meal to fill your stomach with when you are starving and there is nothing like having your thirst quenched by a cold glass of water. I have had the peak of eating out and having a most delicious rib steak a middle class surbabian kid can have and it was delightful it was pleasurable. I have the indescribable option to go on a diet to cut out food from my eating plan and still live to tell about it and depending on my will power i either sneak in an extra bite and give myself what Jennifer Aniston calls 'A seventh day'. I read, i talk fluently and i laugh so that everyone around me can hear that there is life abiding in this body. I am in a position of options with my food intake, my path in career pursuit i can have the leisure of choosing.

I am physically nutrished and i am in a weight that most would call fat yet i choose to say its the weight i was born to have. I have a life that most in my Third world country would love to have and physically in my needs i am met.

Yet there is more to us than just the outside as Joyce Meyer says' we have two lives' whats going on inside and what is going on outside, and my inside is not nourished. My insides are not at peace and are fired up with a desire.

Its good to have what i have or what anybody has in the First and Second world countries yet we need to share because what is going on in...

DAFUR, ETHIOPIA,CAMBODIA,RWANDA and many other countries even in America is very sad we need to give we need to share resources and i strongly believe that God gave us wealth not to be a storage or keeper of it but to be channels.

Give what you can it will make a difference.

Go to www.Joycemeyer.org and find out what you can do for world missions, starving children,homeless people. Its the only organization i completelty trust and i recommend it for those who want to give. Be the change you want to see in the world.

Raided by thoughts of my circumstances
Flooded by images of my caged existence
Confronted with the reality of my situation
Faced with the agony of my weaknessess
Held captive by the inability to escape
Greeted by the reality of my humaness
Hostaged by the need to do the world's sure thing
It's not possible that there is no way out, is it?...

I search for a way out
I scan for an escaping route
I seek for a path to be different
I helplessly look for a direction out of the norm

I want to live, I want to truly exist, I want to breathe
out my air that was assigned to me
I want to do what i was created to do, what my existence craves for.
I am beyond curable and if there is a cure for this i don't want it.
I want to serve Christ. To join the honest and the serious in their prayer to God

So I go straight to God and i lay it out before Him.

Come to my aid, Make me radical
Come to my assistance, Make me crazy for you
Come help with my load and help me out
I want to live for You, I want to breathe for

YouYou created me then you deal with me

The heavens cry

It seems too possible to let the fragile effort of us humans to save ourself and the attempt to do so is a very dissapointing sight to see. I have seen people nonchalant and people remain the same in circustances that should trigger an action of i want to change for the better yet the mistake they fall into is to save themselves with their own sword. The art of salvation is unknown to us humans if it involves only us straining and making the effort in our power. The power of salvation is only available in the acknowledgement that The Cross is our starting point and the realization that no one can save themselves even in their most desperate effort, salvation is found in Christ in acknowledging that He is The Messaih and The Son of God and that is where change begins and where eyes are open and ears disclosed to the clutter that normally fills them. Giving your heart to Christ is the first step in being the person you were born to be.

Salvation and Freedom are the price we could never pay out of our own bank balance and the knowledge of Christ is the way to finding the purpose of your life.

This message is for those who are dying to be different whose heart cry to to see their lives consumed by a power greater than them. Its for those who want to celebrate their indivisualism and have it refined and taken to greater heights. Its for those who want to live who want to breathe those who want to exhale and make sure that their air is set apart in the art of the alive.