Sin

Sin

An insidious virus

A slow debilitating sickness

A stroll in the cliff edge of doom

A pleasure of illusion

An ignored tuberculosis cough

A hard days work with no decent wages

A long journey to destructions home town

The Fall, Oh the slip and greatest stumble of mankind

It opened gates to all kinds of weakness and flaws

Sin it’s a sinners involuntary act

Comes so naturally

It happens so habitually, we do not have to even try


Flawed us inside out

Jesus only You can get me out of its grip
Son of God only You can release me from its hold
Lamb of God only You can set me free from its power

Bow my knee…Pray to God…See Him act…Live His Word….It’s Sins defeat.

“I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question. The answer , thank God is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different”
-Paul…Romans 7:25
The Message.

i stand out in the rain

I stand out in the rain

Looking up at my lover

He is so silent yet he speaks so loudly

I am so captured by his heart

He has never fallen into sin , we have - which interests me to no end

He is so gentle and loving, my life has to be a Thank You to him alone

I could I guess put him off but then I would be willfully choosing rejection. And I cannot stand being rejected again, humans have done a good job at that. I have no words for Him no speech prepared all I want to say is:

“My life is openly yours be the Life Ruler in my heart”

Jesus Glorious Jesus I love You

I didn’t want to say anything

Propelled and compelled by Your beauty…. I want to hear my voice saying exactly Your hearts desire


Jesus have my life, it is fit or unfit its just for You my Creator God

Have what You created and take it to Yourself forever.

Submit to God

An empty page

Empty spaces filled with words

Empty vacant occupied by lettering

Empty screen I fill with alphabets

Empty white I mark it with saying and wording


I say I write I feel and while I do I capture all everything all instances and moments

From the thread and curl of hair to the reason why we wake up in the morning

I write I fill the world with words I saturate the paper on the screen with
utterances that otherwise would not have been said if they hadn’t been written by my hand

I am going to capture it all

Every m0oment every whimper every feeling every movement every entity every character I wanna see it all I am going to see it all capture it all and once again I will script it and the world will know about it

An empty page I cannot stand.

I write and see what the letter I say says I capture myself even with the speech my heart produces I have so much to say and so much to describe and put into words I am the writer of songs of love of the things that occupy space

… and in all instances I write to say it all.

Caress my solul

Caress my soul

Touch my heart

Seduce my being

Revolve my character

Teach my soul

If the world holds nothing that I should desire but You, then show me what it is I should desire let me live my life to satisfy this thirst I have in my soul have the boldness to show me what I should do and then enable me to do it.

I am tired of living with no purpose

Motion without purpose

Existence without fulfillment

Heavens God answer me! , and show me what You want me to do. I do not want to do my do my own bidding. I do not want to do my hearts desire unless influenced and stirred by You.

Jesus let me love You
Jesus let me honor You
Jesus let me be intimate with You

Love what You loveHate what You hate

Riches and worldly success doesn’t interest me (I thought I should say that)

You O God are the object of my desire.

Letting it out...letting words come out

Letting it out letting words come out


I am gushing out what I can only think about… you


expressing what I have been told

letting know what I have read


and describing that which I have been lead to believe

I am here in this moment in this time in this hour in total contemplate and I am in a channel of another my insides are all you possess and all other is yours in belonging


I have all but the utmost need for you

I am in your disposal at your calling

Ask me instantly and my Lord Everything there I will be

You God are the Highly seated.

The King of Global wealth

If the world is a stage then life is a written script and everyone living in it is a character.
The world is a stage full of all type of characters and to add to life is a stockpile full of untold beautiful and surprising stones such as gold silver and diamond. The characters of the play run after these things and they want to possess them in abundant yet for some reason not everyone gets a hold on them. So one has to ask “did the ones who didn’t get hold of it did they spend their lives in vain did their script just consist of passing and unfulfilling lines of dialogue and was their part in the play suppose to be so meaningless and so trivial” Is the purpose of life like life itself, some are in lush living and some are in absolute stricken poverty. Is lifes’ purpose more favorable to others and to others are withheld favour
The purpose of life is it to fulfill ones desires and make one happy with the gold silver and diamond life consists of and even that privilege of having those precious stones is not given to everyone. Is it to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of life that last but a moment and like smoke are gone. Is it the multitudinous mistakes that as I have lived found out are in- evitable to avoid. Laughter comes to everybody pain is inescapable troublesome times are for everyone yet there is something more I know it There is something hidden to the world that the rich the poor the middle class can enjoy with out any one feeling superior to the other. The whole earth is crying out for it Its in the lips of infants and the whole of longing of the elders. The whole earth is crying out for Director for Life, International language of fulfillment, the King of global wealth
The one whose economy nothing is wasted. You give your life to it and you are fulfilled from the word go. You spend your life here learning and being taught about what to do when such and such should and will arise.
Nothing that is committed to it is spent in vain so this Writers script is full proof and no life surrendered to Him is ended without an expected end coming to be.
There is an answer for mankind for all human beings for all civilization and its been revealed by those who know of it who have the privilege of finding it and are not keeping quiet about it. Its not a scientists formula its not a philosophers way of life its not a scholars disciplinary studies NO its Someone for everybody learned or uneducated poor or rich small or great. He is Jesus The global Savior The universal language of Gods Unfailing love.

it doesn't translate

Utmost

Desire

Legions

Under pickings

Unify

House Home Abide Resort

Indispensable

Popularized

Baring

Letting

Needing

Youth

Knowledge

Power

Deceit

Livid

Uncontrollable

Entire

Ephemera
………………………………………………………………………….the continuation and the summation of life the things gone through and the things to be experienced, whatever… on the sidelines or on the center or on the front or at the back where no one knows your name(obscurity) and if ever and whenever all things that we are to experience in this life come whether good or whether bad its all at the lying at the continual fabrication a consistent plan that cannot be broken so when all hits when life happens and all that comes with it…that’s just it, its life. it’s the design it is the absolute planned purpose of all alive to come into the world be born live grow old and have kids it’s the basis of our existence the fabric of who we are

More though….more crying out for more
Crying out for the unplanned , wanting the unkown, living for the unconventional I crave it I long for it I want it the absolute unexpectedness of life the total puzzles that make life hard and that make it good wanting more wanting so much more life is good life is great I love it and i love living it and Jesus well He is my way out of the conventional…..

Shocking!

It doesn’t translate.

Yet Jesus is my way out of the conventional.

lol.....

-So what is this what is this image what do you spend your whole day doing what are you building what are you making up you put blood and sweat over this what is its purpose…...

-Its too soon to tell.

...The Highest Residency is worshipped...

We know God in 3

He is...

Put me on stage

Put me on stage and I am home

Put me on the platform and I have found, re-discovered my long lost parts which laid dormant in me

Put me on stage and I m in my element

Put me on stage and something else takes over an indescribable God force(for lack of wording)

Put me on stage and the whole crowd will respond whether with accollades or with amazement yet I guarantee a deep reaction

Put me on stage and I find my home a home where even God agrees I should live there

A home similar to a kind of activity where you know nothing you are doing is wrong and your conscious approves aswell and so you do with absolute abandon

Put me on stage and my whole body is in an experience that no-one can take from me

I become alive and full of nuclear sparks, atomic erruptions of sound going off with each note sung.. that enable any note any chord any song to come out

Put me on stage and heaven will look down to enquire what are the earthlings doing down there

Put me on stage and God Himself will want part of the action I promise by heaven and earth He will

Put me on stage and I sing and dance and perform. Stage my natural habitat.

The stage

Put me there and its my absolute exhale.

I’m alive onstage all else fades all the existence of things and matter disappear

Then its me the stage the music and then God whose jealousy has made sure that all my exertions on stage are directed to Him n those He wants ministered to

Yet its not about Him now its about the stage and my transcendental experiences I have when there .

And …oh !, my here He comes again(I search why the stage has such hold) and oops! Here He comes again the reason for the stage so no matter if I (try) kick Him out He is the reason for the stage and here I am again back to Him to hand Him what He gave to me

I can’t exclude Him…. so its God the music the stage then me in God in the stage
Salvation is a piece of work.

Their.

Their cry their cause found their existences most craved expression their last breathe whimper their loves true interpretation their true selves their out of the world unearthly heaven sent experiences their great exploits their melody their harmony their hearts tune and their identification their longevity their feed their aim their constant eject from the lip their center their mantra their complete know their outbursts their depths in the times of plenty and of praise and times of lament and their out cry their great shout their words their sayings their speech their nights hour comfort their link to the greater their total surrender their known path to the sane their utterance their open mouth gush their strength to a grand procession their completeness their abide their hope their hold their resolution their resolve their wake up greeting their steadfast attachment their return after coloring outside lines their lighthouse their welcome their unity their eyes setting their life stance their greatest laughter their journeys and it chronicles their starting point their great hide their intense pleasure their dominant force their joys their find their unshakable foot placement their weak spots compacted and combated their brilliance their absolute poetry their offerings their likings their place of residency their place of abide their tinkle their best moments defined their delight their answers their way out their kindling and ever rising brimming and strength filled songs their great meetings their abilities their open mouth confession their laudatory their ecstasial bliss their youth their old age their lives their reliance their total abandon in the One of themselves their careless care in His Care… their One
even

their persecutions their sufferings
Yet I muse because when you don’t persecute them they praise and when you do they praise even louder.

and they find such, in their confidence their absolute trust their treasure the thing they possess and hold most dear is summed up in 1 word

JESUS

jump in...

Jump in don’t hesitate ask no question sit make yourself at home let your hair down do what you would do in the secret place you call home come let your feet rest on my coffee table take my words ask questions take my statements challenge and make known to me your doubts and skepticism don’t be alarmed I am most welcome to laugh with you listen to you and hear you don’t be taken aback don’t be shy just simply be let it all just come to me and let me tell you when you are out of bounds don’t stress let me be the one to tell you that is not to be said or done go on tell me your stories share with me your pains let me know what your mysteries are let me know what you have lost and what you just discovered talk to me let me know what you treasure about yourself where you want to be tell me about the world you live in what’s going on in it what happening in your scene let me know share with me the darkest part of you that makes you realize you are in need of a Savoir share with me a part of you that even scares you and makes you wonder just how far is too far go into detail abandon yourself to me let me be the very thing your existence craves let me be The Father you lost and now has found you and wants you back don’t be stressed about the faults and mistakes you will make in my company let me worry about that you just give me you give me your heart your mind your soul your life and whatever you desire to give talk to me tell me what you think of Me and I will tell you what I think of you let me know what you most want in all the world I don’t want a lot I just want you. So where do you want to start…..
.
So what do you make of that?...lol…welcome Home.

Writer: is in Aplaces.

i live here yet i am hardly here!

I live here yet I am really not here

Living amongst the stars

Making decisions based on high expectations

Constructing the scene of my faithed future

Immortalizing what has not been brought into existence yet

I play with big ideas and mess around with bigger than me day dreams I wake up in

places angels constantly live in and frequent

I am here and yet I am hardly ever here

My residence my abide my home is amongst Guardians and watchers of The Throne

My place of head rest is under Ancient of days white as snow robe

The place I frequent is the heart of Savior King this is me I escape in the place

of Invisible elements and unseen beings and spirits I sit in a place of royal

welcome and unreasonable graces….This is the place you are taken to when you ask
Jesus to come into your life and take it and use it for His purposes when you say “I receive You Jesus”

A place of great Hide and Escape

A place of Angel dwellings!

I live here yet I am never here

The most anticipated Script of all....My life

Tribute.Homage...Prayer

out of breathe speeches and confessions

Oh how you u make me you surround me with you and make me all I am I have nothing without you you are the addition in my life I need I am eternally yours and when we are kept apart we remain together because our hearts are bound forever you are the answer to the question my lips hold and have made me the person I want to wake up being I need you most desperately I have you in my mind in my heart in my soul in me and all my members I have and feel nothing but love for you you are my shout and greatest moment of laughter I have all beacause I have you.

Calmed by the call.

In total calm and seriousness and absolute knowledge or should I say a preview of whats to come…

I am in your debt and forever at you calling.

Merci Mon Dieu!

Nothing in Art is ever lost!

I am not the first to feel these feelings- nothing new has occurred under the sun, what has happened before is what will happen later ,yet I am the first to express these feelings through me because I am one of a kind a person like me has never lived or existed before even maybe like me yes yet they were not me. I find artistic expression in all things their expression and interpretation, I find a way to turn it into an creative expression yet the hours that have come upon me have been severe that a response from me has been altered and then I channel that which is not me yet there is still an art to it because I figure nothing in art is ever lost an artist can alter a fault on a canvas to assimilate it to the whole painting and I figure that that is the occurrence that will take place with me I am a canvas with God as the painter and even though messes of mine come in then n now and when I feel I am being broken and becoming distorted that’s when my Friend Painter Artist God, Jesus takes that which as Joseph said is meant for bad and turns it for good nothing in art is ever lost or beyond reparable and that the thing with my existence its an art of work that only God the only being I have allowed to paint me is without telling the obvious the most creative and most ferverent artist I have ever met so I am not worried I am not disturbed I am not sirenned yes I am rippled yet what ever I do or someone chooses to do to me God Artist can repair and even though the act is not necessarily erased or deleted it will be used to make this painted soul an artwork that will bring to the earth an amazing beauty that only God through Christ by the help of Holy Spirit can and when… I say close curtain in my final hours I know I will be pleased with the Artist work so come what may God still is.

Pay closer attention to God

The time is now!!!!!

http://www.ikhayalikababa.co.za

I need Your Hand on my life!

Joyce Meyer Darlene Zschech Billy Graham Reuben Morgan Matt Redman Miriam Webster Steve McPherson Marty Sampson Martin Smith Mark Zschech Dave Meyer

Its not you

I am engulfed by the thought of you let it be known that at the time you were what I craved yet as the hours have passed you have become my dread not in the light of who you are but just the emptiness of who I am I just can’t bring myself to be anymore in partnership with you I can’t even look at you without a negative feeling. Its not that you never served a purpose you did yet it really was for my gratification than it was for our meeting a much needed time in secret randevous. I don’t feel for you what you have come to develop for me its just not happening for me I need higher ecstacies and a broader toucher innocent meeting and well groomed time partners I need more than what any human can give and I will never find it in you… in me is a whole a vacant that needs to be filled and no human can fill it no touch can preserve it no experience no matter how high can tame it I need mo so much more I need to go out of this life these humans this sphere this world and be made climaxed and brought to oblivion by something greater Joyce Meyer calls it God, Billy Graham says its Jesus and my Pastor says its Holy Spirit and tell you the truth I once asked a favorite teacher of mine if she had ever had to let go of love and she gave me the most strangest answer she said to me well “there is healthy love and unhealthy love” and for me you are the latter I love you yet I can never be in love with you. Its not you it’s me.

So God of Joyce,Billy and Charles I give my life to You and forsake all else.

Trouble with or without...lol...!?

I lie here in total abandon of care

I invent methods of penning the unseen

Subjected to a confinement of my space

Let the things unsaid be at the presence of Him who wants to say them

Breathing sometimes can be a task

Which I love offcourse yet it requires an effort none the less

Let all I am be in the presence of who most definate wants to use it

God here is your turn with me

I am a pencil of which God writes His story with???

God,God,? Yah… gosh I wish I had the power to save myself

Then breathing would be a breeze and not such a task

Yet get a hold of this, people who called on God were and still are martyred, beaten and the Savior which they relied upon and who has instilled Himself in me suffered most than any person alive

So calling Jesus to come to my aid?

Is that a good idea?

Yet one thing I know that if God is God…which in my belief through Jesus Christ and helped by Holy Spirit that He is, I am in stable care.

We may be as humans (are) in a no win win situation…Trouble with God and Trouble without God.

Yet,

This I know for sure my life is invested in it…God is the ultimate lover, crucified, yes! but for me. servants martyred, yes! but to get to me and give me The Message all His effort and His dealings with earth are directed for my embetterment .

I may not know much about the disposition of the earth and not have the answers for why or when

Yet when I look up and mention in calling…,God through Jesus by the Helper Enabler Holy Spirit I know complete love is on my backup.

So God start writing I give permission Jesus to U start scribbling yet one request… Whatever you write it must be scinttilatting , eccentric , adventurous , unexpected colourful, flamboyant without notice deadlines and of absolute thrill and creative exploits for without the unseen and suprising in my life Lord I would cease to be and absolutely everything You made me and put me on earth for.

Its nite now

Elements of things in their disposition
I figure the reached element of an entity is when flow happens

I have never been in a place of consistence elements at meet


I engage in monologue, solitary discord and agreements about the elements I have mastered or have mastered me
Yet its not the expression for me that matters it’s the form in which its expressed
For likeness sake….its not what is said yet its how its being said

Its an ongoing spiral of what is conjured up in the mind and expressed through the form of element that you possess or that which possess you

I search for the place where its sourced and from where is reserved yet with no avail
Being in a perimeter and surrounding that compliment and add to your female or male make-up of expression is priceless and should be invaluable yet on what circumstance was it agreed upon that a certain mastered element defines your preference of matting
Male n artistic Female and manual doesn’t point to your opposite gender prefference
It’s all scattered now my prepared speech like a writer whose whole book has been blown by wind my argument or claim is lost in the files of my being and will
resurface in a time of no scripting
The dominant force the pull of your element the physical call of your being

If I were to decide for myself whats to be done with what possess me… I would come short of its potential
So an invite I make right here right now

Creator God,… what you have created let it be for the purpose you created it for
There there now see no restlessness and neurosis just calm and knowledge that what possess me is in the Hands of the One who gave it to be my dominat force

It was nite but the light of Gods welcome of me turned it into day.

Nothing in Art is Lost!

I am not the first to feel these feelings- nothing new has occurred under the sun, what has happened before is what will happen later ,yet I am the first to express these feelings through me because I am one of a kind a person like me has never lived or existed before even maybe like me yes yet they were not me. I find artistic expression in all things their expression and interpretaion, I find a way to turn it into an creative expression yet the hours that have come upon me have been severe that a response from me has been altered and then I channel that which is not me yet there is still an art to it because I figure nothing in art is ever lost an artist can alter a fault on a canvas to assimilate it to the whole painting and I figure that that is the occurrence that will take place with me I am a canvas with God as the painter and even though messes of mine come in then n now and when I feel I am being broken and becoming distorted that’s when my Friend Painter Artist God, Jesus takes that which as Paul said is meant for bad and turns it for good nothing in art is ever lost or beyond reparable and that the thing with my existence its an art of work that only God the only being I have allowed to paint me is without telling the obvious the most creative and most ferverent artist I have ever met so I am not worried I am not distured I am not sirenned yes I am rippled yet what ever I do or someone chooses to do to me God Artist can repair and even though the act is not necessarily erased or deleted it will be used to make this painted soul an artwork that will bring to the earth an amazing beauty that only God through Christ by the help of Holy Spirit can and when… I say close curtain in my final hours I know I will be pleased with the Artist work so come what may God still is.

Flood me

Take over

Be a force of nature with me

Light me with flashlights

Take me in the knoock

Take management position

Tornado me in your center

Take me and do as you please with me

Invade me

Inundate me with intimacy gestures and novelty

Oh God,take me as am and inject me with You.Make me helpless with your might and then empower me to respond to you

Lift me up while kissing me passionately knocking me against the wall and append all your nature and characters in me while inscribing me with all you are and emboss me in all my visibile fields so all know that I’m yours

You ask me a question and I respond ” yes, no, ,maybe, I don’t know could you repeat the question?” as I am lost in the wonder of you.

Jesus my Savior Christ Messaih God Jesus Son of God and Son Of Man completely and absolutely yours both now in this moment and forever please take care of me and pull me to You and the things You want for me.U are so unearthly and I love it to no end.

Cancelled Script

one……..(cancelled writing , deleted wording) yet “ one” is the one word you will know from the aborted script. Wish I could say more but I had to abort…overwhelming residence of words not said yet felt. I have said too much.

Captained ship

The causes i have made myself available to
The life that I am expected to live
The moments which were made to define my existence
The life decisions altered by the circumstances we find ourselves in
The course that has to be runned
This life that I have no choice but to live yet it itself is a choice
The race which needs to be finished
The life given to me to live

I am inadequate
I cannot live this life
I need help, assistance
I need to fulfill every possible part of me
I need to do what I was born to do
I need to express what was designed to be said thru me

A created being cannot know what its created for it has to go to the Creator
A design can only know its purpose for design by addressing the Designer

A house is planned by the person who lives in it who can execute I’ts functions as they see fit yet mine is too big for me to know all that needs to go where it’s a complex and highly roomed mansion of possibility and potential and I find myself absolutely unable to fill every space of what I want it to house or hold I need more than what is offered on the world market.

So off to the Creator God I run, off to Maker and Founder of the earth I go
And pray

“I need you to room every part of me I need you to fill me with what I have been designed to hold I need to be more than what I am told to be I want to be chained with the chains you allow I want to be inflicted with what you permit to come I am inadequate to fill this mansion so I give it to you I want to be a man who is absolutely filling the earth and the world of the community in me with its destined and seemly inhabitants so take my life please take it God and make me what you see fit. I would rather have not what you don’t want me to have than end up with not having what I was suppose to have I reason you are the ultimate so go on have your fill with me, I take my gamble on you Jesus. Please God take my life”

there no worry all I have to do now is just wake up and someone else will take care of this community within me …I would rather it be God than someone inadequate and totally unaware and unattuned of my inmost highest needs
I
I

For this i was born.

the completeness of you
the absolute of who you are

may my life be a good morning kiss to you
may my life be a love letter to the cross
a grateful thank you to the love you give
may may may Oh God...

the absolute truth is... i need you more than life.

Writers note.

how can i explain it
how can i articulate
how can i concise it
how can i make it succinct
how can it be briefed
how can it be summarised
how can it be written to be understood

it can't it can't be summed up
this is that vaccant place filled that men of preaching destiny speak of
that part quenched
that glass brimmed
its as infinite as God Himself its as unexplainable as God is
God mentioned cause He gave it.
don't ask me to explain it
don't ask me brief on it

you want to know it
Pray and ask God to take your life
give your life to Jesus
ask Holy Spirit to come into you

and maybe a portion of it will be made known to you.

Everyday is opening night.

So what do we say to these things

The ideal searched and discovered

The loss rationalised and adjusted

The appeal made clear

The idea objected

The seclusion homed

So what do we say to these things...

When found dominant force not dominant force as purpose force, change and turns comes,that desired shined in daylight,the cause of search for purpose given fair justification,loliness +1 and then you live.
That’s what we say.

I looked and you were gone

Far from the pictures taken by sight

Iit took a while to sesnse your absence yet when things happened of which u so easily took care I saw u’r absence in daylight

Losing u is not the worst thing to happen yet I consider it to be most painful

Lost from sight lost from sense lost from companionship

My vision is in peril if u are not to be seen

My very existence lies at your sight

I looked and you were gone

Without notice yet preparation…

Legends dies kings , musicians fade favorite seasons pass ecstacy induced highs become no more u witheld yourself from my awareness
And when that occurred all these experiences were mine

The fatefull reality of a day without you

The hours are spent in complete trust that once again you will make yourself mine
I looked and you were gone
yet when I look within me
You left evidences traces footprints and realities and Comforter that seal and make known to me that you are at a seconds calling
Don’t be far from me stay close my air is the breathe you supply
Don’t be far.

lost in wonder of all there isn't

what do you do when you don't know what to do
where do you run to when you have no where to run to
where is the shelter to be found and where is the answer to be adhered to
what do you do when all else is failing you
and you find yourself with no alternatives
what is to be when all there is is all there isn't.

Jesus,my last altenative and only option i fall at your feet
Take all and have all.

Moments refreshments

God is my restorer re- attaching me in unexpected times
suddenly and with- out notice
he makes soul refreshed by only what he can provide
he makes a release come when all pointed otherwise
only because He doesnot want points to other things beside Him
my redeemer God Sovereign God Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
so now whats up.....

He is the cause not the result.

Your calling is my protection and assurance.
Your hand on my life is my warm blanket.

Confusion Attacks Deception Lies Secrets Passions Ungodliness Immorality Dodged bullets Uncertain forthcoming events Worry Voices Interruptions Unstability Fear Doubt Stray leading Poisoned hearts God Haters Christian dispisers Above all my Father uncertainty impotency legions i can't fight set traps...David n Saul.

Your calling your ppl your Strong hand which never leaves nor forsakes even a wind
blown chaff is all i m holding on to.

Absence yet my Loss

I looked and you were gone
Far from the pictures taken by sight

it took a while to sense your absence yet when things happened of which u so easily took care I saw u’r absence in daylight

Losing u is not the worst thing to happen yet I consider it to be most painful

Lost from sight lost from sense lost from companionship

My vision is in peril if u are not to be seen

My very existence lies at your sight
I looked and you were gone

Without notice yet preparation…

Legends dies kings , musicians fade favorite seasons pass ecstacy induced highs become no more u witheld yourself from my awareness

And when that occurred i babied these because of loss(no!)(yes!) loss absence

The fatefull reality of a day without you

The hours are spent in complete trust that once again you will make yourself mine
I looked and you were gone

yet when I look within me you left evidences, traces, footprints, realities and Comforter who seals and make known to me that you are at a seconds calling

Don’t be far from me stay close my air is the breathe you supply
i looked and you were gone

Don’t be far........carry me in your absence and my loss

Shut eye

nitey nite.

ouch you strike me hard i had to say oh God more times than i can count
ouch you strike me hard i had to dread what is to come
ouch you strike me hard i had to doubt if i can even if i wanted to
ouch you really strike me when you destroy one thing i care about the most

it's okay though. One tree pole...vertical, One tree pole... horizontal.
it's okay though. You cut me so deep and destroy what is held dear... Crimson flow mixed with water.
it's okay really its okay because what you can't see is what hovering the waters is intimate with
you stab my heart and paralize my spirit...its kwl 3 friends in 1 will fix me

strike stab destroy make me cry persecute ridicule tell lies insult and reject

Wood... flow...Relationship...Rescuerer

ooooohhhhh you cut me deep no doctor can heal yet its okay,believe me its fine
what you do hurts yet it heals too. God step in.









































































































































































































































































Oh God!!!!!!

The dangled pleasure

Taken In by the weight of you

You are my complete sentence

You are the reminder that brings the words at the tip of my mouth to memory

Life would not be living without you
I am in debted by your presence that make it worthwhile

I am learned in the ways of passion because all I feel is my response to you


Enabled and disabled I can and cannot I breathe yet can’t exhale
I have yet I do not

How can something I want so bad be so out of my reach
How can my longing be so distanced

Ministry My Ministry Ministry my Ministry

I have reached a point where if I leave I ask self where are you going to go
Bad yet good

High point

I’m big , bigger than life , bigger than breath , bigger than pop culture, bigger than sex , bigger than the imaginations of my mind my capabilties are limitless there is nothing I cannot do I am big I have a big voice a big heart an enormous space within me that constantly needs to be filled by something and someone bigger than me I am big yet I m not self sufficient I am a great being yet I m not complete in myself I am a huge deal yet I m not sovereign I have potential I have a world full of yes yet not in control of its runnings

And to think I will spend my time giving myself to things that have no purpose…

Things that have not been tried and tested please do not even go there I am too big I m an enormous amount of hugeness and I am what I am and I am what I m not and I am not God I m not The Almighty I am invicible and undefeatable yet I m not The Creator and to think I would give myself to anything less than Him would be a waste of effort and a complete waste of my time I am too big to live without Collosial Creator God and He well He , He is Immense and greatness recognises greatness. God is great and my time and effort will be by His help aimed at Him. You complete me Lord I maybe great yet you surpass all

when silence speaks

when the words are void
when the absence of speech says a mouthful
when the world and all there is is in silence
when the things in the heart can only be expressed by oh!
when the mute fills the room
when my very being is reaching out to the being and entity that you are
when all is given without speech
when captured in the sight of you and all i say is in no dialogue
when the presence is sufficient to explain what is being felt
when the noise the sound the echoes the disturbances the clutter within the constant voice in me is silence and words are vaccumm

only you know what i'm saying
only you tell the deepest part
i'm silent and i m speaking at the same moment of time and you read and know exactly my speech

That's why all i am is yours You know me before i break the silence
when silence speaks You interpret

Jesus take all of me and hold nothing back.
I... am completely yours mind body soul sex future inheritance child bearing semen yours take all
i...... Silence and give my self completely...Infuse me God (oh what do i do what do i say) and and be intimate with me in the highest form and when intimacy has occured then silence and soak in the moment

lifes unpredictbleness

The moment we met I knew

The time we set our eyes on each other all questions were answered

The time it took for my eyes to engage themselves in your sight has to be the longest seconds spent in waiting

The hour of our sight being intuned to each other was of absolute sparkle

You talked or was it me yet we shared words shared a stolen glance then a smile then a silence then awkwardness then we were and now are and together we remain

To the love of my life all I see is you

the result of my being
the cause of my birth
the reason of my existence
the total of my days
the grand design of my inner most self
the already decided pilgramage that no man or entity can decide beside I...am
the already maped out plan of my destiny
the school of my character
the cost of my Saviours cruxifition
the breathe that i have no control of that gives me llife
the understood and the understood

God Father
heeewwww
Je...no....Us
all i am and have is yours forever no limit no reverse
completely yours........
Entrusted Jesus take care

Compli-

i got cancelled yet there was no delete
its in this moment in this time that i will get to do.
as long as there is me a message will be said
as long as my mud pack still has breathe a story will be told
i am swimming in a sea of unaccomodativeness

my speech is impared my articulation tempered with
the silence has clamouring noise
the bridge of transportation is built in a plane i have no comprehension of
languages of untold universes and beyond reach wasted days

my hands touch
my eyes see
my ears hear
my tongue tastes
and i feel, i breathe and communicate.
Beyond this and behind it....

Lord complete it. I am in Your hands... Completely and without reserve. Collosial... lol... thats that




my

Eternal same

the sudden silence of my thoughts and
the availability of my emotions to love
the inner emotion of just being alive
the placing i have accepted as my own
the loudness of my edited speeches
the laughter of my songs
the viewed layout of my wiring
the absence of what i feel i need
the tamed nature my enviroment gives
the honesty of my existence
the reality of my being

born to a differnt family
born to a different race
born to a diffrent nationality
born to a different country
born to a differnt name
born to a different circumstance
born to a different everything

Would satisfaction have made a home in me
Would contentment have made its abode in me
Would what i say i need be what i need in those given given citrcumstances
What would be the same what would not have changed and remained constant
Thats what i need. Thats what i shud desire. The eternal same

Majesty.... Majesty forever you are the same forever you are constant
Take me in O God for even if i was born in Los Angeles or New York
You would still be You. Its only in You that i can be.

Jesus.

A heart of looking up

The song i sing has been birthed out of pure adoration
the melody is not made up, the lyrics not manufactured
this is who i am this is what i breathe in i am out of breathe lifting my vioce to you
i can't do nothing else but just love and adore you
you are the vital part of me i need you more than the air i breathe
i don't need anything the world has to offer and i don't need anything anybody has for me besides you.
you are my hearts desire i long to see you glorified and exalted you are the smile that wakes me up in the morning
hearing your voice would complete every part of me
hearing you speak would satify my most intimate needs
all that you are makes me want what you have and offer what i am to you
i would love to be totally invested and involved in what you do i want you badly
and i want to please you to no end you are the light of my life you are the air i breathe and to think that you love me in return makes me want to raise everything you love and hold dear infront of you and offer it to you to do with it as you will
all that you do is sufficed with grace you complete the existence of the earth by merely being
i recieve the sacrifice you gave to me through Jesus your Son glorious.
how could a being so high so perfect so untouchable and unphased by anything that would totally make me bend out of shape love and choose me to be a member of His royal family how could someone be so invested so interested and so committed into making me like His royal self i am very thankful God for your love i am very grateful for all you have done please let me love and trust and obey you whether i want to or not... you are high and glorious and there is nothing that can remove me from the love of God central to the universe being.
Jesus you are a rock star thank you for your obedience.

What have i done

The empty spaces within me
The vacant holes that reside in the community within me
The spaces that are present in the zone of my being
You fill them all with your living water
You make me dance on air
You make me breathe breath that goes from here to eternity
You are the reason and the cause for my existence
You are within me, you are in me and i am in you
It's you who makes it worthwhile to wake up in the morning

I am crying, my inner most part is crippled
A virus has taken hold of me and only you have the cure
I am being crippled in my effort to walk with you
I am lacking air yet i have all the essentials to breathe it in
I am so attacked by an enemy i have no ability in my ability to stop
I am weeping lamenting trying to find a good reason that will make you ignore the stain
I am taken by the settings of my weaknessess, they know when to strick while the iron is hot
I feel so weak so defeated so out of touch so immobile so in debt so out of character

God, i have sinned and i have done what is wrong before you
I have the done the thing you despise
I have perfomed an act you can't stand
I have made an 'What have i done.' mistake
I have made that which is opposite to you come before your face

God in Jesus you said we are forgiven so i come and ask for your forgiveness
O God please help me, I...I...I...
Father I...I...I...
I need your Hand on my life.

Breathe, Take in, Embrace, Let Him in, Go steady, let...let...let Him in
Mortal, human, life filled, created and flawed
He. Immortal Perfect Loving Merciful Gracious Faithful Inviting and Jesus Gave

Yet you hate the sin me the sinner you love so i come to you cry my eyes out and then trust that what Jesus did was sufficient for my sin and the sins of the world.

I am sorry God.

i have known the luxury of having to know that there will be food on the table when i get home there is nothing like a good meal to fill your stomach with when you are starving and there is nothing like having your thirst quenched by a cold glass of water. I have had the peak of eating out and having a most delicious rib steak a middle class surbabian kid can have and it was delightful it was pleasurable. I have the indescribable option to go on a diet to cut out food from my eating plan and still live to tell about it and depending on my will power i either sneak in an extra bite and give myself what Jennifer Aniston calls 'A seventh day'. I read, i talk fluently and i laugh so that everyone around me can hear that there is life abiding in this body. I am in a position of options with my food intake, my path in career pursuit i can have the leisure of choosing.

I am physically nutrished and i am in a weight that most would call fat yet i choose to say its the weight i was born to have. I have a life that most in my Third world country would love to have and physically in my needs i am met.

Yet there is more to us than just the outside as Joyce Meyer says' we have two lives' whats going on inside and what is going on outside, and my inside is not nourished. My insides are not at peace and are fired up with a desire.

Its good to have what i have or what anybody has in the First and Second world countries yet we need to share because what is going on in...

DAFUR, ETHIOPIA,CAMBODIA,RWANDA and many other countries even in America is very sad we need to give we need to share resources and i strongly believe that God gave us wealth not to be a storage or keeper of it but to be channels.

Give what you can it will make a difference.

Go to www.Joycemeyer.org and find out what you can do for world missions, starving children,homeless people. Its the only organization i completelty trust and i recommend it for those who want to give. Be the change you want to see in the world.

Raided by thoughts of my circumstances
Flooded by images of my caged existence
Confronted with the reality of my situation
Faced with the agony of my weaknessess
Held captive by the inability to escape
Greeted by the reality of my humaness
Hostaged by the need to do the world's sure thing
It's not possible that there is no way out, is it?...

I search for a way out
I scan for an escaping route
I seek for a path to be different
I helplessly look for a direction out of the norm

I want to live, I want to truly exist, I want to breathe
out my air that was assigned to me
I want to do what i was created to do, what my existence craves for.
I am beyond curable and if there is a cure for this i don't want it.
I want to serve Christ. To join the honest and the serious in their prayer to God

So I go straight to God and i lay it out before Him.

Come to my aid, Make me radical
Come to my assistance, Make me crazy for you
Come help with my load and help me out
I want to live for You, I want to breathe for

YouYou created me then you deal with me

The heavens cry

It seems too possible to let the fragile effort of us humans to save ourself and the attempt to do so is a very dissapointing sight to see. I have seen people nonchalant and people remain the same in circustances that should trigger an action of i want to change for the better yet the mistake they fall into is to save themselves with their own sword. The art of salvation is unknown to us humans if it involves only us straining and making the effort in our power. The power of salvation is only available in the acknowledgement that The Cross is our starting point and the realization that no one can save themselves even in their most desperate effort, salvation is found in Christ in acknowledging that He is The Messaih and The Son of God and that is where change begins and where eyes are open and ears disclosed to the clutter that normally fills them. Giving your heart to Christ is the first step in being the person you were born to be.

Salvation and Freedom are the price we could never pay out of our own bank balance and the knowledge of Christ is the way to finding the purpose of your life.

This message is for those who are dying to be different whose heart cry to to see their lives consumed by a power greater than them. Its for those who want to celebrate their indivisualism and have it refined and taken to greater heights. Its for those who want to live who want to breathe those who want to exhale and make sure that their air is set apart in the art of the alive.