Same call causes this turmoil.

I hate my life when things are like this

where there is no poetry and the brutality and reality of life comes

When control is only found in Him

I hate my life when I can’t even lift a finger to save myself

I hate to feel this way

I do not like my life in this way

The sudden control lost and besieged by armies not knowing how to fight them off

I can’t stand it

I want out

I want a life of calmness and peace and weekends at the beach house

I can’t stand being such a victim a David with Saul I can’t stand being so fragile

and weak I want to run away but I don’t know where to go

God help me Lord come to my aid Jesus holpen me- only you.

You are the cause not the result

I am in enemy territory and they have no mercy

They would smash a baby’s head against a stone

No-one compares to u Lord

Oh God the grave wants me yet your purposes for me are not yet fullfilled

Your calling is my protection and assurance

If it were not for the calling on my life I would have gone into the abyss

Yet same call causes this turmoil

I hate my circumstance yet You remain my first love

Jesus Savior Precious Redeemer and Friend

I…………………………………………………………………..yes that.